Girls/Guys 'Needs'

Cyrus · 9 Apr 2006

This was sent to my email.. I giggled =P

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This was written by a dude...but it's still pretty damn smart.
Girls--have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, repost it.

Men, repost this because you have balls

Sentrosi · 9 Apr 2006

Officer

Ingwë · 9 Apr 2006

WarWolf · 10 Apr 2006

That was great. Nothing else to say.

ShadowSpawn · 10 Apr 2006

Racewiz · 10 Apr 2006

Right on Target.

springwheat · 10 Apr 2006

Its a start.

Aeternus · 10 Apr 2006

freakin hilarious

PumpMonkey · 15 Apr 2006

I had forgotten about that joke~!

I used to tell jokes like that in casual conversation at parties -

Depending on who I was with, they would range from

#1. "My wife and I were eating breakfast the other day and she said "Pass the sugar, honey." So I did without any thought. She asked "Don't you get it? Its a play on words. Sugar-honey." I looked at the table and said, "Oh. In that case, pass the bacon, pig."

...to...

#2. "When we were first married I told her to put on a pair of my pants. She informed me that they didn't fit and I explained,
"That's right, I wear the pants in this family."
"Okay," she said and threw a pair of her pants at me. "I want to put these on."
I took one look and said "I can't get in these."
"That's right," she said, and until your attitude changes, that's the way its going to be."

~PM~
PS - Yes, I'm still happily married~!

Jaydis · 16 Apr 2006

As a woman, this is what I have to say...

I have NO idea what you are talking about.

Sentrosi · 16 Apr 2006

Officer

My mother-in-law often uses this:
"The men may be the head of the family, but it is the women who are the neck. We control where the head goes." I think she got it from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Which, to those who have seen it, is basically everything I had to go through to marry my wife. Replace Greek with Italian though. And, when I say everything I mean it. Right down to the Bundt Cake.

PumpMonkey · 16 Apr 2006

Sentrosi said:

My mother-in-law often uses this:
"The men may be the head of the family, but it is the women who are the neck. We control where the head goes." I think she got it from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Which, to those who have seen it, is basically everything I had to go through to marry my wife. Replace Greek with Italian though. And, when I say everything I mean it. Right down to the Bundt Cake.
Click to expand...

I wasn't all that impressed with "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" honestly. To me, it certianly had some good points to it, but I felt it was a shallow version of "Tony and Tina's Wedding."

~PM~

Panthera18 · 17 Apr 2006

That was so funny. Woman suck sometimes, not me of course, I ROCK.

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Girls/Guys 'Needs'

Cyrus

Sentrosi Protocol Officer Officer

Ingwë DragonWolf<BR>The Goose!

WarWolf DragonWolf DragonWolf

ShadowSpawn DragonWolf

Racewiz

springwheat DragonWolf

Aeternus DragonWolf

PumpMonkey

Jaydis

Sentrosi Protocol Officer Officer

PumpMonkey

Panthera18

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