Another American Job Exported (joke-du-jour)

Source: Associated Press

Congress today announced that the Office of President of the United States
will be outsourced to overseas as of June 30th, the end of this fiscal
year.

The move is being made to save $400K a year in salary, a record $521
Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead. "The cost savings
will be quite significant" says Congressman Adam Smith (D - Wash) who,
with the aid Congress' research arm, the General Accounting Office, has
studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We simply can no longer
afford this level of outlay and remain competitive in the world stage,"
Congressman Smith said.

Exporting American jobs has been a popular trend lately, ironically at the
urging of President Bush. Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of
the termination of his position. He will receive health coverage, expenses
and salary until his final day of employment. After that, with a two week
waiting period, he will then be eligible for $240 dollars a week from
unemployment insurance for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be able to
receive state Medicaid health insurance coverage as his unemployment
benefits are over the required limit.

"I'm in shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought fer sure I'd have some job
security around this here place. I have no idea what I'll do now," he
further lamented.

Preparations have been underway for some time for the job move. Sanji
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the
Office of President of the United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh was born
in the United States while his parents were here on student visas, thus
making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 USD
a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. Due to the time
difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh will be working primarily
at night, when offices of the US Government will be open. "I am excited to
serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview.
"Working nights will let me keep my day job at the American Express call
center. I always knew I could be President someday."

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be fully
aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A Congressional
Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a script tree to follow
which will allow him to respond to most topics of concern. The
Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be realized as
these scripting tools have already been used previously by Mr. Bush here
in the US. Such scripts will enable Mr. Singh to provide an answer without
having to fully understand the issue itself."

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities including
that of Vice President and most other Administration appointees.

~PM~