Cougars, but not the good kind

Everything I need to know about cougars I learned from Red Dead Redemption (RDR)

RDR has more cougars per square mile than the entire state of Colorado ever had.

If you step outside of town and don't see a cougar, that means it's behind you.

RDR has more cougars than an episode of Real Housewives.

If you see a bear, there is a cougar pouncing on you already.

If you see a cougar, there is another cougar behind you.

If you hear a bear, you missed a cougar.

If bad guys are running at you, there's a cougar with them.

If you are being chased by a cougar, pick a flower to break their concentration. They're totally confused by that.

The only safe place from a cougar is when you're gambling.

Cougars can swim, you can't.

A bear will knock you off your horse setting you up for a cougar.

When you try to attack a cougar, you will find out you had a lasso selected. Or a knife, or your fists or my personal favorite panic-button-attack-before-you-realize-it, dynamite.

The sound a cougar makes is not a growl, it's a laugh.

Cougars are solitary animals and can rarely be found in groups of less than ten.

Cougars are the ninjas of the animal world.

Cougars will routinely ignore several hundred pound of fresh buffalo flesh for 120 pounds of panicky cowboy.

Red Dead Redemption. A game about a time when men were men, women were women, bison were buffalo and cougars ruled the Earth with an iron claw.

 

Yeah, that was a special moment.

"Hey, I'll cross this low spot that I know I can make it. I bet the kitty can't." Rowr, dead.