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Discussion in 'General Open/Public Discussion' started by Great Dane, 22 Mar 2002.


  1. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

    There are currently 0 members and 0 guests on the boards.

    :cry:

    :(
     
  2. Hamma

    Hamma Commanding Officer Officer

    Officer
    :(
     
  3. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

    And so sayeth the Dane onto the DNS server "Let my posters GO!"
     
  4. Master

    Master "First Ten" Club Member

    Theres one way to kill a forum!
     
  5. I was all alone, I was all by myself.....
     
  6. Tbeast

    Tbeast Recruitment Officer Officer Elder

    Officer
    Everytime i try to check the forums the last couple days they have been down :(
     
  7. Hamma

    Hamma Commanding Officer Officer

    Officer
    Should be back up for good now :D
     
  8. Tbeast

    Tbeast Recruitment Officer Officer Elder

    Officer
    w00t w00t :)
     
  9. Ingwë

    Ingwë DragonWolf<BR>The Goose!

    thats what they all say!
     
  10. /me looks around...

    *goes back into hiding*
     
  11. GooD GoD this thing is finally alive again WOW!!!
     
  12. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

    Not like anybody is using it.
     
  13. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

  14. Ok then - I'll post.

    The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.

    The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

    The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

    After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

    The next year, the Japanese won by TWO miles!!!

    Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

    ~PM~

    "Is this a company any of you work for...?"
     
  15. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

    If I only has 2 cows.
     
  16. Shoot them both, grind up the meat and make 1 giant hamburger?
     
  17. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

    I was thinking of this.

    THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION"

    A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

    A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

    A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

    A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

    A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

    A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.

    A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

    A TALIBAN You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan
    "countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
     
  18. I know i just didn't feel like looking for that :p
     

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