FUNNY, FUNNY, Brand New 2002 Edition of "You know you're a redneck

FUNNY, FUNNY, Brand New 2002 Edition of "You know you're a redneck when...."

* You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.

* You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.

* Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

* You burn your yard rather than mow it.

* You think the "Nutcracker" is something you did off the high dive.

* The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

* Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.

* You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

* You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

* You come back from the dump with more than you took.

* You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

* Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

* Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

* You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

* You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

* You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

* You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

* You have a rag for a gas cap.

* Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

* You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

* You can spit without opening your mouth.

* You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

* Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

* You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip" on the side.

* The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

* Your working TV sits on tope of your non-working TV.

* You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

* A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.

* You've use a toilet brush to scratch your back.

* You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

* You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

And last, but not least.........................

* Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!!!