Grounded

Well it's official. I lost my license to drive. I can have a restricted one but that isn't the same. I don't feel very well now. I'm not happy with where I am right now and this just makes it worse. At first I was just going to try to take a class and get out of getting a charge on my record. That would have costed me $525 though! I went back into the court room and said "I'm not rich enough to keep this off my record".

So now I get a Mr Meanor (yeah I can't spell) charge and have to pay $325. Happy birthday to me... I never gave them my liscense. I told those bastards I lost it and then turned around and DROVE home. Of course I made a stop on the way at the store and bought some stuff.

So as I drove home I contemplated what a bad person I must be while drinking my 22oz Budlight. I thought about how in Idaho you can drive under the influence of bud and it's okay. I thought about how all these Canadians are smoking pot and everything is fine there. Then I thought about how nothing positive came from going to court and how it was just a sceme to take my money.

Then I contemplated what Bush said lastnight. (30 mile drive home) and how if he wants everyone to join the military how we must be going to world war 3. Then I thought about how he targeted Iran, Iraq, and North Korea as our countries enemies. Then I imagined how badly the North Koreans kicked our ass last time and how if we attacked them China would attack us. Then I thought about what my country has become. Then I punched it to 80mph so I could get home faster.

Sometimes I don't like thinking.

 

If I was crossing the road and a fully loaded 18 wheeler was coming at me doing 70mph I would just stand there.

 

I don't feel bad. I feel like someone ripped my soul out and left my concousness here. I don't feel anything come to think of it. I'm just here...

 

I couldn't go 5 years without a license. My father was an Apache Pilot. My grandfather took a corner to sharply and through himself off the side of a hill in his corvette. My family has a need for driving dangerously. It's in the blood.

I know better days are coming. That's why I keep myself busy. So I don't think about all the bad things. I have a plan to. I'm going to screw the Army pretty bad in a year or so.

I'm going to say "to hell with college" and stop going. Then just go to some tech school so I can get an education now. 4 years is just to long to wait. Then I'm going to get a nice job in Texas and give my wife what she wants.. and other baby. I'll have a good job and good pay so I can support my family and my wife can get a part time job and raise our children. That's what we want but this makes it hard.

How do I drive a Uhaul to Texas without a license. The law takes nothing into consideration and is made by scared little children. A long time ago a voice popped in my head and said something. It said "I will not be the victum!". From that day on I stopped letting people just hurt me and began fighting back. I don't cry or get hurt when someone does something bad to me. I do something bad to them instead. Now I am powerless once again but I know I am not numb anymore. Now I am sad and I think I need medication.

 

I'll just smoke pot. Thanks Angel