Newer versions of old words

Just in case you havent learned PC-speak yet...
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activity intolerance: lower back pain

transitional assistance: welfare

after-sales services: kickbacks

involuntary administrative segregation: solitary confinement

three-day wait for a gun: regulation

one-day wait for an abortion: restriction

communications strategist: public relations person

creative response conceptions: PR

tug of peace: tug of war conducted by sensitive people

content providers: writers

compound: the home and property of someone reporters consider an extremist. (Thanks to Michelle Malkin.)

wedgislation: proposed law not intended to be passed or even seriously debated, but introduced solely to embarass the opposition. (William Saletan of Slate.)

not multicultural enough: white (For instance: "Many classes are no longer reading 'Catcher in the Rye' because the central character, Holden Caufield, isn't multicultural enough.")

sporadic protests and vandalism: a race riot, as reported by The New York Times

disturbances: race riots, second-day reference in the Times

special interests: your opponent's supporters

public-spirited citizens: your supporters

concerned Americans from around this great country: your non-local supporters

outside agitators: your opponent's non-local supporters

non-traditional sex: perversion

sex worker: prostitute, stripper, porn actor

false consciousness: she still loves her husband

leather community: sadomasochists

solo sexual activity, sex for one: masturbation

narratized sexual harassment: off-color joke

uncoerced sex: rare or obsolescent form of campus sexuality. "Many women like uncoerced sex," said Kathryn Abrams, Boston University law professor.

gender illusionist: cross-dresser, person in drag

intergenerational intimacy: pedophilia, statutory rape

homophobia: disagreement with the demands, tactics or manners of any gay activist

activist volunteering: new radical feminist term for a mother's kidnapping of her child after the courts have given custody to the father (thanks to Cathy Young)

paleoliberals: people of the left who have the exact same opinions they had in 1952. (Thanks to Mickey Kaus.)

grandparent clock: grandfather clock

foreparents: forefathers

underrepresented: we need quotas

should look like America: we need quotas

numerical goals and timetables: quotas

race-sensitive programs: quotas

fair group representation: quotas

employment equity: quotas

equitable distribution of available resources: quotas

should receive euthanasia: should be killed

advocacy scholarship: politicized teaching, classroom propaganda

sensitivity training: indoctrination

freshman orientation: indoctrination

multicultural issues editor (of a college paper): censor

post-colonial people: non-whites

people who never suffered colonialism: whites

undocumented workers: illegal aliens

beings: replaces "human beings." Removal of the word "human," with its warm and positive overtone, verbally sets the stage for the killing of infants and incapacitated oldsters, while at the same time making animals the equals of humans. (Thanks to Wesley Smith.)

monocultural: white

emotional battering: domestic quarrel

economic censorship: no grant this year from the National Endowment for the Arts

emotional violence: criticism

violence of the tongue: criticism

verbal abuse: any joke or remark you don't like

evolutionary fur: fake fur

strict constructionists: judges who follow the law and precedent instead of just voting their political opinions

in-plant feeding facility: cafeteria

moderate Republican: liberal

reactionary right-wing Republican: conservative

deaccession: censor, destroy. "Many people believe the mural of Indians scalping while settlers should be deaccessioned for reasons of sensitivity."

suffragist: retro term for suffragette

gaming: gambling

after-death care: cremation

virtuecrat: Bill Bennett

unwanted sex: either rape or consensual sex regretted the next morning

visual rape: staring, ogling

mental rape: pleading for sex

symbolic rape: criticism

seared, mutilated animal flesh: hamburger

procedure: abortion

choice: abortion

anti-choice: anti-abortion

selective reduction: abortion

effecting fetal demise: abortion

exercise of a woman's right: abortion

pregnancy-related services: abortion

late-term abortion: partial-birth abortion

reproductive health community: abortion lobby

inappropriate: crooked, totally immoral

backlash: resistance to your ideas

organized religion: an outdated and prepackaged faith; any form of spirituality not invented recently by you or your friends, or not seen recently on "Oprah"

cult: any small religion disapproved of by three or more journalists