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Star Wars Humor

Discussion in 'General Open/Public Discussion' started by Racewiz, 1 Jun 2005.


  1. Racewiz

    Racewiz

    From an e-mail.

    The revelation scene in Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back is one of the most famous moments in cinema history. Now, though, it will have minutes of original footage added back in. The new extended scene goes like this:

    Darth Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

    Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

    Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

    Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

    Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true.

    Luke: NO!



    more...


    Darth Vader: Yes, it is true, and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

    Luke: Threepio?

    Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him. When I was 7 years old.

    Luke: No!

    Darth Vader: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp.

    Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

    Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!



    Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

    Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me! My father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"

    Luke: Shut up!

    Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

    Luke: I... uh... used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

    Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor! 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open, only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here, you baby!

    {Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}

    Darth Vader: I was wrong. You're not my kid.

    {Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.}

    {Darth Vader looks after him.}

    Darth Vader: Get a haircut!
     
    Racewiz, 1 Jun 2005
    #1
  2. Manitou

    Manitou Old War Horse DragonWolf

    :rofl: :rofl:
     
    Manitou, 1 Jun 2005
    #2
  3. Arglaar

    Arglaar

    :rofl:
     
    Arglaar, 1 Jun 2005
    #3
  4. ORANGE

    ORANGE DragonWolf

    I'm still upset with Mr. Lucas for saying Anakin created 3po and r2 even though previously established fiction said they were created in a factory.
     
    ORANGE, 1 Jun 2005
    #4
  5. Sentrosi

    Sentrosi Protocol Officer Officer

    Officer
    Ummm, R2-D2 was originally a Naboo droid Orange. He was never made by Anakin. Only C-3PO was.

    /slaps Orange with a large Death Star

    And that was funny. Captured what a wuss Luke REALLY is.
     
    Sentrosi, 1 Jun 2005
    #5
  6. Slamscape

    Slamscape DragonWolf

    Anakin didn't create R2, he was on the queens ship in Phantom Menace, he was one of the repair droids on the ship
     
    Slamscape, 1 Jun 2005
    #6
  7. Ingwë

    Ingwë DragonWolf<BR>The Goose!

    Hahaha, excellent!
     
    Ingwë, 1 Jun 2005
    #7
  8. Praetor-Vong

    Praetor-Vong

    [​IMG]
     
    Praetor-Vong, 2 Jun 2005
    #8
  9. ORANGE

    ORANGE DragonWolf

    I stand corrected but still I have one of those books they put out a long time ago you know they ones with all the star wars weapons and ships and planets and junk. And the droid one said they were made on some droid planet (the name continues to escape me). Time to go see if B&N still has them today.
     
    ORANGE, 2 Jun 2005
    #9
  10. Praetor-Vong

    Praetor-Vong

    When they referred to 3PO, his main memory core was manufactured there.
    But, we all know where he was actually built now. Plus who knows where Annie got all his parts.

    When they referred to R2, his shell was completed there. Naboo grew popular when it became known how much R2 was customized for his tasks. Apparently many of his systems are custom additions, like R2 was 'pimped out' or something.

    Sadly, I have no life or girl anymore, thus I have read all the SW novels to date with the following exceptions:
    All the kid books
    Han Solo trilogy
    Lando trilogy
     
    Praetor-Vong, 2 Jun 2005
    #10
  11. Sentrosi

    Sentrosi Protocol Officer Officer

    Officer
    Ugh, even Planet of Twilight? Worst PoC I've read in a long time.

    Zahn for the win.
     
    Sentrosi, 2 Jun 2005
    #11

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