tech support...the OTHER version ;)

Hey, wait...

 

WIFE 1.0
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 14.1 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.

No mention of this particular
phenomena included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is ALWAYS launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0 :
---- A "Don't remind me again" button
---- Minimize button
---- Hibernation button
---- Laptop model
---- Separate on/off switch for speakers
---- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of other system resources.
---- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature.

I decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend
1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of.

Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.
To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.
Another thing that sucks all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0 or 2.0

BUG WARNING

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

BUG WORK-AROUNDS

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0.
Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

 

So Test, are you married yet?

 

testflight, you definitely need to install Huggles 1.0 first. Guaranteed to keep your PC running warm and also chases away those pesky system freezes!

I think any one of us Dragon Wolves have the program available for you to borrow.

 

test, i personally have found shiteatinggrin 4.0 to be an extremely usefull program to install along with patience 2.1, deapbreaths 1.1 and counttoten 3.0. It seems to reduce the number of operations each program needs to do by reducing the amount of input from outside systems. Should an external system operation be too persistent, i reccomend obtaining and installing primalscream 4.9 as an alternative to urgetochokeyoudown 1.0, as primalscream 4.9 will generally force a break in any external systems operations in your vicinity, and helps clear your own memory buffer so that patience 2.1 can operate more effectively. It also avoids the problem which urgetochokeyoudown 1.0 tends to have, that being that anti-virus programs in your vicinity will usually detect it and quarantine your entire system.

 

I have found if you install Friend 2.0 first then Girlfriend 4.0 and final Wife 1.0 all on the same system you get a really stable system that works better with Husband 1.0. Even with adding Kids 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0.

 

*sigh* i wish i had that option, however whenever i install friend 2.0, this annoying program called androgynousshouldertoleanon 3.0, which kaiboshes any chance of upgrading to girlfriend 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, or 4.0.

 

Silly Raptor you should know - Alcohol 1.0 totally takes care of androgynousshouldertoleanon 3.0. Noob.

Warning...it does corrupt Girlfriend 2.0 with MorningAfterGuilt 1.0 and leaves you with Hangover 2.0

 

hmm, might work if i didnt have overdevelopedconcience 5.0 installed, and the dislikeofalcohol option turned on in my OS. It cuts me off after a drink or two.

 

lol... There are times you guys frighten me.

The gotcha I had was after Child 2.0 there seemed to be an undocumented feature that caused Child 3.0 to spawn as well. Child 3.0 seems to have changed the permissions on FreeTime such that only Child 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0 can make modifications.

Luckily I got the upgraded version of Wife 3.1 which allowed me to install VideoGameObsession 1.0 and PaintballFanatic 1.0 that enables Relaxation 1.1 to run again. I had thought that one was going to crash forever.