Things are kinda slow around here today.

things are slow everywhere. i have a joke.

a guy walks into a bar. ouch.

guffaw guffaw.

 

There were two guys fishing on a river. Hamma was on one side, Malone was on the other side. Hamma was just reeling in the fish, while Malone had caught nothing all day. As the day drew to a close, Malone finally got fed up with Hamma's skillz and called across to find out what he was doing. Hamma simply said it was better fishing on his side. Malone knew the closest bridge was miles away and he didn't want to walk that far. He was mad. Hamma, feeling sorry for him called back to Malone.
"Hey! I have an idea!" Hamma called
"Yeah? Cool! What is it?" replied the anxious Malone.
"When it gets dark enough, I will turn on my flashlight and shine it across the river and you can then cross the river on the beam!" suggested Hamma.
Malone got mad. How dare Hamma suggest that!
"I am NOT that stupid, Hamma!" cried an angry Malone.
"What?! Whats wrong?" questioned Hamma.
"Well, I know that if you did that, as soon as I got half way across, you would turn off the flashlight!" called Malone victoriously revealing Hamma's sinister plan.



Mani

 

That was funny back in the 80's!!

 

Hehe...I'm waiting for the flames to being over that one Mani Here are a few for your reading pleasure:

What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag

Why shouldn't blind people sky dive?
Because it scares the dog

What do you call skydiving lawyers?
Skeet. Bang!! Bang!! Bang!!

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop, clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting

How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese

What do you call santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck

Which is harder to do: roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him

Why did pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka

 

you mean it's not the '80s anymore?

 

So how was he realing in all the fish?

 

This isn't my kind of humor. I like the "Jay Leno" humor.

 

Jay Leno isn't funny. Not even remotely funny.

 

Someone needs to get laid.

 

If dogs could use the toilet.....

 

If Dane could duel....

 

If I could get those legos...