thought this was funny!

LETTER:

Mr. Ryan DeVries
2088 Dagget
Pierson, MI 49339

SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
that
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor
who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance
of
two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream
locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and
cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and
desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a
free-flow
condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the
stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than
January 31, 2002.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that
our staff may schedule a follow-up site inspection. Failure to comply with
this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in
this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and
would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to
contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely, David L. Price

District Representative Land and Water Management Division
******************************************************************

RESPONSE:

Dear Mr. Price:
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond

First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner and/or
contractor
at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am the legal owner and a couple of
beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and
maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project,
I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
natural building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
department
to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you
choose.

I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam
skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence,
their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request,
I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam
permit
prior to the start of this type of dam activity.My first dam question to
you is
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam
request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,
through
the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those
other
applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if
there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the
Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 24.30113 of the Michigan Compiled
Laws, annotated. I have several concerns. My first concern is -- aren't the
beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially
destitute and are unable to pay for said representation--so the State will
have to
provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either
one or
both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is
proof that
this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.
In other
words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing
them
and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a
dam-free
flow condition, please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to
arrest them,
they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter (being unable
to
read English) In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right
to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water
flows
downstream. They have more dam right than I do to live and enjoy Spring
Pond. If the
Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to
its name, it
should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment
(Beavers' Dams.) So, as
far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for
more elevated
enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2002? The Spring Pond
Beavers
may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam
staff to
contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your
attention a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears.Bears
are actually
defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the
defecating
bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the
beaver dam,
watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump, and have no
permit!)
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
you
on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam
office.

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letters were real !

These were actually letters not made up,which makes it really funny!

 

Hiya Vorath!!