Top 10 System Administrator Truths

This is sort of funny, but all true: (also received in my email)

I figure with enough time and effort, anyone could be a
system administrator. Really, it's not hard -- it just takes
practice, methodology, and trial and error. A lot of trial
and error. These truths will certainly get you on your way.
Let's get started.

#1 - Users Lie

Oh yes, they do. Don't think you're immune either. Have you
ever been on a tech support call, convinced that you know
the problem, and the guy on the phone says something like
"Would you put in the recovery CD, restart, and scan your
memory?" "Oh, I've tried that," you say with eyes rolling.
Believe it or not, sometimes we crazy admin peeps suggest
these fixes because they work. When a user protests my
assessment, I politely insist that they do what I asked
until the doing is done.

#2 - Email Is the Lifeblood of Non-Techies

I love my non-techie brethren -- I mean, how else would I
know what happened on the OC and Gilmore Girls? -- but at
the end of the day, email is #1 in their book. Now a lot of
it is business related, and certainly that shouldn't be
taken lightly, but most likely they were waiting on a warm,
fuzzy message from their daughter or sister and really
needed their email back up ASAP ("I'm waiting on a
proposal!" they screech -- see #1).

#3 - Printers Are Bad

Ever had to clean a laser or, God forbid, an inkjet printer?
It's like stabbing yourself in the eye. It's not just the
grime either -- it's the fallacy that a little chunk of ink
could make the machine just stop working. Ninety percent of
the time (or better), this isn't the case (instead, check
the fuser/print heads).

#4 - Cleanliness Is Godliness

Ever open up a PC and see the Ghost of Dust Bunnies Past in
there? It's scary stuff, I tell you. I've seen some PCs
begin to lock up "for absolutely no reason" while the
innards tell you something different. Sure, Peggy in
Accounting wasn't stuffing her machine full of cloth, but
that blanket she keeps at her feet will slowly shed and the
PC fans suck that stuff right up. When you're completely
stumped, make sure there isn't something inside gunking up
the works.

#5 - Backups Are Crucial

This needs to be said. I've been caught unprepared on this
one a few times myself. Backup, Backup, Backup! Nothing (and
I mean nothing) will bite you like a poor backup schema. If
your server dies right now as you read this post, what are
you going to do about it? Do you know where the install
discs are, do you have a configuration backup, and do you
know who to contact regarding tech support on that box? If
not, you need to get your act together before you have a
disaster and a lot of excuses and apologies following it.

#6 - Switches and Hubs (Usually) Die One Port at a Time

You can spend hours tracking down a bad network card or
cable just to figure out that a port in a switch has died.
You're pinging and pinging and looking; the lights are on
but nobody's home. The trick here is to know that a single
port doesn't spell the end of the hardware; quite the
contrary. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. If a
port does go out, that hub or switch may work for years
without another outage, but do be sure to stuff an RJ45
connector in that bad port so you don't forget (and chase
down phantom problems) in the future.

#7 - No One Ever Got Fired for Buying Microsoft

So sad but so true. This old saying used to reference IBM,
but oh how times have changed. Linux may be powerful, but
the command prompt and configuration files and file system
obscurity will just as soon get you a pink slip if something
goes wrong and no one knows how to fix it but you. Even so,
with as much stupidity as we admins have to put up with on a
daily basis, configuring some of the "high-end" Microsoft
software is enough to drive you insane. Ever tried
installing Exchange Server or, worse, installing Exchange
Server and migrating a 5.5 install to Exchange 2000? I feel
your pain -- oh, how I feel your pain.

#8 - Politeness > Brevity

You can come up with all sorts of analogies for this one.
You'll get more bees with honey, a spoonful of sugar, etc.
But generally, you probably have very little day-to-day
contact with end users. This means that when you do finally
get to speak to one of those souls fortunate enough to login
to your domain (both figuratively and literally), you should
be sure to be as polite as possible about it. Even if the
network is down. Even if the server is having weird,
irrational problems. Use please, thank you, I'm sorry, and
don't be too proud to apologize or "make nice" with those
who may ultimately influence your career path down the line.
The peon you insult today with "I sent an email about this;
do you not check your own email?" could very well climb the
corporate ladder and let you go in a few years. Mind your
manners, peeps.

#9 - Know Your Needs

This one could also be called "Learn Linux." Many admins get
wooed into the idea that "managed solutions" are always the
correct ones. A web interface on a switch is cute, but
rarely useful. A huge Cisco router may not always be
necessary; sometimes a "lo-fi" approach is best. When you
want a spam solution, before looking at $5,000 servers and
huge licensing fees for Windows Server software, take a look
at one of those old "junk" PCs you have in the closet,
download your favorite distro of Linux, and install procmail
and spamassassin. You (and your budget) will thank me later.

#10 - The Holy Grail of Tech Support

.is the reboot. Rebooting can cure ailments of all sorts: it
can stop network troubles and crashing computers, find
missing documents, and rescue cats in trees. System admins
all over the world have, by and large, trained their users
to reboot before even calling support. I mean, when's the
last time you didn't reboot to see if it cured a problem? If
you're not, then you're either stubborn or you're an admin
who knows better. Rebooting doesn't cure all ailments, but
it cures so many of them that it's hard to not throw out a
"Can you reboot for me?" to the end user when they call with
some off-the-wall issue. Use and abuse as necessary.

Written by Evan Erwin, Oak Ridge, Tennessee, United States
http://www.misterorange.com/