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What Canadians have to be proud of. :)

Discussion in 'General Open/Public Discussion' started by Asmodeus, 15 May 2002.


  1. Asmodeus

    Asmodeus DragonWolf

    SO, WHAT DO CANADIANS HAVE TO BE PROUD OF?


    1. Smarties

    2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

    3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down

    4. Baseball is Canadian

    5. Lacrosse is Canadian

    6. Hockey is Canadian

    7. Basketball is Canadian

    8. Apple pie is Canadian

    9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass

    10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass

    11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed
    the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned
    it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..

    12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

    13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.

    14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.

    15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.

    16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

    17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.

    18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

    19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

    20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

    21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

    22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

    23. A Canadian invented Superman.

    BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
    24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.

    Oh yeah... and our elections only take one day
     
    Asmodeus, 15 May 2002
    #1
  2. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

    You do realize that all this says is the only things Canadians have to be proud of is their lack of education.
     
    Great Dane, 15 May 2002
    #2
  3. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

    [​IMG]

    CANADIANS

    Racial Characteristics:
    Hard to tell a Canadian from an extremely boring regular white person unless he's dressed to go outdoors. Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen. It is thought to resemble a sort of arctic Nebraska. It's reported that Canadians keep pet French people. If true, this is their only interesting trait. At any rate, they are apparently able to train Frenchmen to play hockey, which is more than any European has ever been able to do.

    Good Points:
    Still have plenty of Indians to abuse.

    Proper Forms of Address:
    Bud, mac, mister, hey you.

    Some Examples of Canadian Repartee:
    Two Canadians are talking in a bar. One Canadian says, "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"
    "That was my wife." replies the other.

    A lady is shopping in a Toronto drugstore and accidentally leaves the bottle of aspirins that she bought on the counter. She gets on a bus and the minute the bus has pulled away from the curb remembers leaving her purchase behind. "My aspirins! My aspirins!" she yells.
    And the bus driver says, "Maybe you left them in the drugstore."

    A little Canadian boy named Johnny Fuckerfaster is screwing a little girl under the porch of his house. His mother comes out the door and yells for him, "Johnny! Johnny Fuckerfaster!"
    "I'll be there in a minute," he says
     
    Great Dane, 15 May 2002
    #3
  4. Diocletian

    Diocletian

    Americans can be proud their freedom!:usa:

    That outnumbers everything the Canadians can be proud of ;)
     
    Diocletian, 15 May 2002
    #4
  5. Great Dane

    Great Dane <B><FONT COLOR="RED">THE LEGENDARY BANNED</FONT></

    The war was against England, and the English pushed into the U.S. and did infact burn Washington. There was not a single Canadian involved because there was no Canada in 1812.

    See the War of 1812. A war where the English surrendered to the U.S.
     
    Great Dane, 15 May 2002
    #5
  6. mtx

    mtx Official Decepticon

    What else do Canadians have to be proud of...

    They are a society of potheads.

    They are a 2nd rate country.

    Their money has steadily decreased in value vs the dollar.

    Economic expectations of Mexico are higher than those of Canada.

    Canadas economic productivity is poor at best.

    Canadians move to America because of the lack of jobs in their country.

    The forces of Fort Hood alone could completly whipout the Canadian Army.

    Canadians are the butt of many American jokes.

    Canadians have Canadian bacon.

    Canada kisses the ass of America knowing damn well they'd stand no chance against the worlds only Superpower.
     
    Last edited: 15 May 2002
    mtx, 15 May 2002
    #6
  7. Diocletian

    Diocletian

    Americans have Canadian Bacon too!!!!:p
     
    Diocletian, 15 May 2002
    #7
  8. mtx

    mtx Official Decepticon

    Yeah we call it ham. ;)
     
    mtx, 15 May 2002
    #8
  9. Diocletian

    Diocletian

    ever heard of Canadian Bacon Pizza? We don't call it Ham Pizza.
     
    Diocletian, 15 May 2002
    #9
  10. mtx

    mtx Official Decepticon

    Hmm good point.

    Is canadian bacon on a Hawian?
     
    mtx, 15 May 2002
    #10
  11. Diocletian

    Diocletian

    im not sure.....i know pineapple is.
     
    Diocletian, 15 May 2002
    #11
  12. mtx

    mtx Official Decepticon

    Ew look at me I can make thick slices of ham and call them Canadian bacon. Aren't I special!
     
    mtx, 15 May 2002
    #12
  13. Diocletian

    Diocletian

    :rolleyes:
     
    Diocletian, 15 May 2002
    #13
  14. mtx

    mtx Official Decepticon

    Dude you are totally looking up her skirt. That's just wrong.
     
    mtx, 15 May 2002
    #14
  15. Diocletian

    Diocletian

    hey........what can i say? Im a perv!:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
     
    Diocletian, 16 May 2002
    #15
  16. Rayzer

    Rayzer

    Ummmmm Velco....Didn't that come out of the NASA Space race? Even if a Canadian invented it, it was the US that paid him.

    But the Biggest problem with being Canadian, is that you got to live in Canada :p
     
    Rayzer, 16 May 2002
    #16
  17. Hamma

    Hamma Commanding Officer Officer

    Officer
    ya, those are all lies.

    <b><i>lies.</i></b>
     
    Hamma, 16 May 2002
    #17
  18. Rayzer

    Rayzer

    You know what is really funny, we took all the places that are cold as shit (cept Alaska, we kept that for oil) and let the Canadians have it cause really who wants to live there, and then we took all the places that are hot as shit and let the Mexicans have it :D

    We kept the nice part in the middle :)
     
    Rayzer, 16 May 2002
    #18
  19. mtx

    mtx Official Decepticon

    Maybe we should stop our trade relations with Canada and watch their unemployment rate skyrocket. Besides Mexico appriciates our buisness a lot more.
     
    mtx, 16 May 2002
    #19
  20. testflight

    testflight

    the only thing i can think of is...TIM HORTONS!!!!
     
    testflight, 16 May 2002
    #20

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