"how To Bathe The Cat"

You know I haven't been here in 2 days and just about no one has posted in that time.

Not that anyone will read this anytime soon.

"All we are is dust in the wind, dude"

-bill

 

I'm going to disappear in two weeks for a very long time. I'm moving to Fort Hood.

I know you shall all miss me ruining the threads. I'm sure you shall all miss my cruelty and merciless attacks that sent most of you into lurking. It makes me proud to know I intimidate most of you so much that you fear posting. It is one of my proudest internet accomplishments.

 

Just found this...Dog's Letters to God

Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street.

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets again?

Dear God,
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing?

Dear God,
I've always lived at the shelter and I have everything I need. But
many of the cats here have names and I don't. Could you give me a name please? It would be good for my self-esteem.

 

I don't mess with God on any level.