You west coast I east coast

This Close?

 

I'm moving to TX because you east coast people suck.

You all have those stupid northern/southern acsents.

You all insist on driving like morons.

You all drink like a fish and smoke crappy pot.

Some of you have intercorse with animals.

Most of you are fat and mean.

ect ect ect

Oh and NC has the worst roads in the world.

 

I got the cute new bartenders phone number last night.

 

Did she give you a "stiff dick" or a blue motorcycle?

 

Nope, just a few beers and her phone number.

 

So did you call her yet?

 

Nope, I just got it last night. Not sure how long I should wait so that I don't seem desprate, but I will proabbly call tonight or tomarrow.

That and another cute girl gave me her phone number yesterday morning and wants to go out with me for beers sometime. She is a really hot lesbian that used to be the bartender at the same place I met the other girl.

It was a full day yesterday.

 

You can haver a really good time. Just call her.. pick up the phone!

 

Like I said I will call her tonight.

 

Remember if she goes all the way on the first date then she is a whore.

That is how you can judge a girl. Every guys wants to score on the first date. That is natural. If a woman wants to score on the first date she is a whore.

Why the double standard exists is beyond me but I like it.

 

Becuase it's true.

 

OMG ROFLMAO

Have you ever seen Swingers? If you haven't you might want to watch it before you call her because its a great example of what not to do



Just remember Dane, you got these big fuken claws and she's just this tiny little rabbit.

Oh, and I don't believe there is a double standard. If you have sex on the first date, all it means is you are both looking for the same thing.....sex.

Now the debate on building a lasting relationship around having sex on the first date is one that I won't get into, never happened to me, so I can't really offer an opinion from experiance.

 

Sex on the first date? Yes, and LOTS of it. Lasing relationship…? Some were, yes. (and before Schrike or Oed makes some smart-as remark, one of these lasted many months, bordering on engagement).
When I’m in town Dane, (arrive = 18th, leave = 24th) we can commiserate about females

"There are two methods to arguing with women. Neither work."

 

Females colaberate with their friends all the time. They share inside information about men and make tactics and use interesting stratergies to overcome our defenses.

In short females can NOT be trusted.

Who opened Pandoras box? Who bit the apple the tricked Adam into doing the same? Who wrecked my car!? Who steals my favorite pillow every night? Who consantly nags me?

[sensless rambling/begin]
Who summons me to get her a Dr. Pepper because she is to lazy to get her own and I was doing so damn good playing a 4 vs me "melee" game of broodwars and you ruined it! The swarms overwhelmed my protoss forces because I was distracted and it's not fair!

Who waits till I am halfway through "J and Silent Bob strike back" to come in the room with my daughter and tell me to turn off the dvd?!

Who stole my last chicken nugget!?
[sensless rambling/end]

 

Who's bitch is MTX? His wife

I love my wife, She get me mountain dew's with ice and beer while I'm playing.

Yeah she complains a lot about all my gaming, but its ok, I get over it. When she cooks, its always good, and I never cook so I don't complain. I haven't done laundry in 8 months. I love my wife

 

the movie Swingers comes to mind.